Monday, June 2, 2008

3 to 2, 2 to 1....

Don't get confused by my title above, i mean the 3 Charlie Angels (Mrs. Sangkaran said that not me) of us became 2 when my eldest sis went to UK to study for her degree and eventually 2 of us became 1 only when my 2nd sis went to KL to study. The only 1 will be the unlucky ME. Ish.

Yesterday Aylwin told us that Dee, my eldest sis - the very lucky one because she can go to UK - cried when he called her using phone. Yeap, before that, i was being totally not understanding because i thought if i'm her, i should be happy and exciting but not sad for staying at the overseas. I was kind of teasing her silently in my deep heart for her cries and complaint as she was not really alone there in a stranger's country because she was accompanied by a group of friends and it was real fortunate for given a chance to travel/study in overseas (and its UK you know!). Then, Naa, my second sis told me before our sleep that we should always learn to get used to being alone. And deep in my heart again, i silently thought that i have already well learned the loneliness due to some factors when i was in Form 1 and 2.

But, i was totally wrong for my silent thought and the silent tease. Sorry, sorry for being not understanding.

I just realized how Dee felt this morning the moment i woke up.

The loneliness, the emptiness, the something-is-missing feeling, the how-i-wish-my-sis-and-cousins-are-be-with-me-now feeling.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing flashed through my mind was not "Yippi! Another lovely mornings!" but some complicated feelings which made me hard to breathe. It's like... When i turned my head to the left, i saw its empty on the bed with blanket and pillows scattered around and my heart immediately sink to the bottom. It's like... Gone! Normally i have my sis sleeping beside me and you know, i feel really safe and comfortable when my sis are sleeping beside me. I tend to feel unsafe when i can't see anyone's face beside me on the bed and i will wake up immediately. You may say i am dependent and yes, i am.

Maybe i am being too lucky for the first week of the holiday because all my 2 sis and my most-favorite cousins are be with me. And all of a sudden, Dee went, Naa went, cousins went. All the happy moments before that is flashing back like reversing the video tape. But now, no one is having breakfast with me. No one talks and crack jokes with me. No one to share my "Marley and I" and other feelings. No one to watch TV together. No one to argue with. No one to sleep together..........................

So, here i am, to take back all my silent thoughts towards my sis because i am, too, feeling the same way you feel.

This is called HOMESICK, right? yeah, we have homesick.(although i am at home) Theres no prevention. The only cure is get use to it. Everything goes OKAY after some time. Right? =) Be optimism. =)

#1st Note: I have decided to let my sis know this blog of mine. =)

#2nd Note: Luckily Cussy is there with me, although he always makes me angry. =)

#3rd Note: I feel light right now because the works to be done is in the process of doing. =)

#Was it possible for a dog to point humans to the things that really mattered in life? I believed it was.
Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy.A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A dog judges others not by their colour or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.#
By John Grogan.

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